Friday, February 5, 2016

Where I've Been

This update has been long overdue. TLDR: 2015 was the worst year of my life.

Soon after my previous post, I was assaulted at work. The results were a second work-related concussion and my being unable to work for going on now almost a year. In fact, my entire life stopped.

I was no longer able to continue my college education. The super secret project I've alluded to has had to be put on hold. For months I have been unable to fully engage with my children or my pastimes. In fact I spent a good portion of my summer knocked out from muscle relaxers or wishing I was.

Exacerbating all of this, my injury has lead to many other complications. Using a cellphone, computer, watching TV or even reading range from being challenging to impossible (it has taken me several days simply to write this). You have difficulty speaking, thinking and moving.

You find yourself quickly becoming isolated, life continues and you stand still. You have to combat depression, anxiety, sometimes PTSD. You gain weight (I've added 40 lbs since the incident). You feel unreal. Life continues.

You stand still.

All of that is bad, but what is worse is when you feel discounted. When you feel like your condition is downplayed. A co-worker once remarked how we couldn't explain to people our experiences working with severely disturbed youth in a residential setting. Unless you worked there, it was impossible to relate to. I've learned that having a head injury is the same.

Having to fight with insurance companies and, other organizations when your condition makes it hard to communicate feels hopeless. And has left me untreated.

But I am lucky. I don't expect my condition to be permanent. I've lost at least a year, but I will endure. I remain untreated, but I will cope.

I guess I wrote this to let folks know about my absence. I also wanted to shed some light, even a tiny bit, on my experience with a head injury. I've lost a year, but I know I will recover.



Too Long, Didn't Read? 2015 was the worst year of my life. But my life is far from over.